Thursday, October 29, 2009

55 Flash Fiction Friday - Distraction - 10/29/09

This week's 55 Flash Fiction Friday offering uses the prompt "distraction" provided by Lena, a loyal reader. In fact, one of the only loyal readers that is not my daughter. I am doing something a little bit different this post. If you want to hear the piece read in the author's monotone voice, here it is.
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Distraction

He awoke in agony

Choked by the stench of expended gunpowder

His comrades lay motionless

He needed a distraction lest the pain would drive him mad

A pretty, barefoot, girl in a sundress

Her hair shining in the Carolina sun

Her smile beckoned him to her

When medics found him his lifeless face was smiling

9 comments:

  1. wow. intense 55. at least he died smiling...perhaps she will find him on the other side.

    mine is up!

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  2. Dude. I'm speechless. How you come up with these things I don't know. Anything I write that I think is good tends to ramble more than is necessary. I edit time after time. Yet you seemingly sit down and bang out such intensity and depth using only a handful of words. It's a gift. Oh yeah, I think the sundress is a gift from God.

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  3. Sad.....but WOW too. Very intense visual from your words. Wow...just wow.


    Have a terrorific Halloween tomorrow---

    My 55 is a two-parter this week...

    Trick or Treats HERE

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  4. Regardless of what you say, I think your writing is Top Notch!
    This My Friend...Was one of your Top Two!!
    Excellent 55 Rick!
    You Rock The Entire Eastern Seaboard!
    Have a Kick-Ass Week-End...G

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  5. Alice: All too true.

    G-Man: This seems to be a consensus. I have gotten some really good response over this one. Either my writing is improving or I have dumbed-down my readers.

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  6. Sad. But the smile said it all. A little comfort amid the atrocity.

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  7. Great one! Explains well how people cope with the things in life no one should even have to imagine. Think of a happy place. Excellent. Love you. Carly

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  8. In many cases the best medicine lies between our ears. I visit the ocean...in my mind...when things get the best of me.

    Great imagery!!! Made me think of WWII. clo

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