Friday, October 17, 2008

Sunday Scribblings - "My Style" - 10/19/08

My style, or lack of style, can be categorized as beach/golf casual. I do not wear long pants unless the temperature nears freezing, which it seldom does here. I wear nothing but golf shirts and avoid any function or occupation that requires more formal apparel. I usually wear the same five or six shirts until I purchase others (always on discount), then the old ones fall from favor and are retired to the closet, never to see the light of day again. I wear my shirttail out. I am too fat to tuck. I dress for comfort, not to seek other’s approval. By dressing casual, I am always ready for a surprise Cat Scan or MRI, which seem to come quite often as I get older. If you look closely (you don't actually need to look very closely) you will notice a stain on the chest of each of my shirts. Another signature element of my sense of style is that I cannot seem to eat anything with any liquid content without wearing some of it on my shirt. Soup, gravy, sauce, syrup, doesn't matter. It will find it's way onto my shirt. I wear it as a badge, as a Wal-mart greeter proudly wears his nametag. It identifies the shirt as mine. I should own stock in Spray-N-Wash.

I am a fanatic about cleanliness and personal hygiene, but I only shave whenever I start looking like Kris Kringle. I do not wear sandals, as my toes are too gnarly to reveal to the general public. Children have been known to run away screaming at the mere sight of my toenails. I wear sneakers, tennis shoes, trainers, gym shoes, walking shoes, running shoes (though I never run) or plimsolls depending upon where you live. I don’t wear $200 Nike Air, rather I opt for the Costco Court Classic at $13.99. I have several pairs that I rotate and discard a pair when some important part falls off. Since I have several identical pairs, losing one shoe does not affect the utility of it's mate. I wear only white socks, Champion is my favorite brand of sock. The shoe rule applies to a lost sock or one that has become a quitter. It's mate is still in the rotation.

I have a pair of grey slacks, black shoes and dark socks for emergency use: funerals, Ruth’s Chris, etc. I wore a military uniform for twenty years and a coat and tie for several failed careers since then. Now, I will spend the rest of my life as a style less cretin. If clothes do make the man: I am unmade. The "guys" on "Queer Eye" would have a collective aneurysm if they got a load of me. That was not innuendo.

14 comments:

paisley said...

well i am all for it it.. i am fortunate enough tot live in an area surrounded by old pot heads and hippies,, so i never feel under dressed or out of place... i blend right in....

Songwraith said...

One of the qualities I have always appreciated most in a person is unpretentiousness!
A great post!--and leads to a more serious question. The attitude you described in your post--how much of that do you think you developed because of your childhood?--and I mean the environment there? A place where to dress up was to don the Filson jacket (red and black-checked hunting coat) and comb the hair--where honest dirt was a badge of honor--evidence that you worked for a living. I, like you, have seen the other side--where folks judge each other on their salary level, or what they drive or how expensive their watch is--could be grist for a separate blog entry.
Thanks, guy!

keithsramblings said...

I just love your style - if only I could get away with it!

Go Figure said...

I sense N.I. roots showing coming to the surface.

linda may said...

Very Funny, I like your sense of humor. You sound very male in your dress sense.

Redheels said...

I have often wondered what made one person like to “dress up” and another just hate it. I think living in Myrtle Beach your dress style fits in just fine. :)

I enjoyed your post and your music.

forgetfulone said...

If I didn't have to work, I would be the female version of this, but they frown on me wearing jeans or sweats and t-shirts (especially ones with stains) while I'm teaching impressionable young people. Dammit.

Linda Jacobs said...

Sounds perfect to me!

A well-written and entertaining piece!

Granny Smith said...

At last a post on style that has most of the characteristics of my own clothing style! I especially appreciate the comment on toenails. I would run from my own were that possible!

Inland Empire Girl said...

The north Idaho roots coming to the surface are the "always wearing food on our shirts." What is with that? Did the lead leave a hole in the front of our mouths? Your golf shirts remind me of my own father.... I think he had a yellow one almost like yours in the last picture. I miss him. Great post.

myrtle beached whale said...

I think my biggest problem is my inability to hold a spoon level when seeking my pie hole. For some reason I try to bring it in at a 45 degree angle of approach.

Anonymous said...

I have adopted a similar philosophy on attire. I own several pairs of pants, from Wally World, that are all solid colored that coordinate with several multi-colored tops that I have. If the pants bite the schnitzel, my shirts still go with some pair of pants. And at 17 bucks a pair, I can toss as needed and replace. As for the dribbling, an affliction I suffer from as well. However in my case it lands on my female shelf (boobs). I hate that, but have found that the multi colored tops are much more forgiving.

Well Mr. MB Ramblings your keen observation has made think. Never would I have noticed that I had become a garment casulty rotation subcriber had you not blogged about it. Funny....co

pia said...

There's a Costco in Myrtle?

This was a great honest post

Couldn't find your email address

Signed: trying to establish a life here

Jan said...

Hey Mr. Whale...:-)

I dress similarly - when I dress. Since I work from home doing web stuff, there are often days that go by when I don't even get out of my nightgown. So I may have you beat. BUT...

I am into bling. I may wear bluejeans but they have sparkly sequined butterflies on the leg. My pocketbook is gold. My cellphone is gold. My billfold is gold. I have a pair of shiny gold tennis shoes that I haven't gotten up the nerve to wear yet.

Used to work at the pawn shop so I gots lots and lots of bling...:-)
But under the bling is 100% slob.
Gotta love living at the beach..:-)