Friday, April 17, 2009

55 Flash Fiction Friday - "Bang" - 4/17/09

The challenge from G-Man at 55 Flash Fiction Friday is to write a story using exactly 55 words.

It was heavier than it looked. He could hear his brother, Jerry, coming down the hall towards his parent’s bedroom. He pointed at the doorway and said “bang,” but the noise did not sound like bang at all. He would never forget the two simultaneous explosions. One in his hand, the second was Jerry’s head.

10 comments:

Mona said...

O dear... the impact was so great that the bullet hit his head which hit the door!

Anonymous said...

This is great. So much said in so few words. Amazing that it takes less time for this to actually occur then it does to read it. Love ya. Carly

Shadow said...

no!!!!!!! a parents nightmare!

myrtle beached whale said...

This should NEVER happen, but I read accounts of it far too often. I am all for owning guns responsibly. Parents need to take control so that children NEVER have access to them.

g-man said...

Ya know, I was in a good mood before I visited you today...
Man...!!!!

But reality, AND social commentary is not pretty.

And in that context, Great 55!!

Thanks for visiting, thanks for this powerful contribution, and try to have a Wonderful Week-End.
G

qualcosa di bello said...

oh my gosh...what impact!!

Redheels said...

And in seconds everything is changed......forever.

And this really happens all too often.

Anonymous said...

Paints a vivid image!! Two things come to mind...(1) This would make a great public service campaign for gun safety, (I can see it!)
(2) Poignant catalyst as a reminder of the Columbine incident which happened and unbelieveable 10years ago. I remember where I was when I heard the news.

Anyway, kudos to you Mr. Ramblings for again painting a picture, creating emotion and making me think with your writings.co

Eaton Bennett said...

How the heck did you get so much out of so few words...awesome! :)

tsduff said...

Holy cow. Glad my 357 is locked up tight.