Friday, January 25, 2008

Sunday Scribblings - Miscellaneous - 1/27/08

The prompt, “miscellaneous”, gives me the opportunity to comment on a myriad of unrelated topics that ran across my mind. As a result, this will be even more fragmented and rambling than my topic based renderings. Good luck trying to follow it. One should never give me this much freedom or lack of direction.

On the current Valtrex commercials, no one seems to be overly concerned that their partner has genital herpes. “I have genital herpes.” “But I don’t.” Good, dump the bastard before you do. I think a brilliant marketing idea would be to link that commercial directly to EHarmony.com, so that the person without herpes can find a new mate and maybe the infected partner could find someone else with an STD to begin a relationship with.

Another potential follow-on product would be Trojan Condoms, although the only type of rubber that would be in play here would be rubber burning as my car peeled out of the driveway. There is another product that could also be linked. For me, the knowledge that the person I am about to be intimate with has a contagious disease that might be passed to me would reduce my ardor and Viagra might be needed. They could call it erectile “dysinterest” instead of erectile “dysfunction.” This is a more realistic commercial.

Don’t you think that Geico could reduce their premiums a bit if they didn’t spend a billion dollars a year on advertising? Do you think at this point there is anyone in the free world that doesn’t know about this company?


There are a plethora of drugs advertised on television that might sound good until you hear the side effects near the end of the ad. Some of them are absolutely unbelievable. Hey, if they cured cancer, I would risk the side effects, but come on. For instance:
I was suffering from a toenail fungus (too much information?) and the drug that my physician recommended was called Gris Peg. It can make my toenails nice and healthy but it is entirely possible that I would require a liver transplant. My toenails will remain gnarly.
Alli is a weight loss drug that's major side effect is that you might crap your pants. Thank you. I will stay fat and under control.
Propecia can help you regrow hair but can also make men grow lactating breasts. It is so dangerous that a pregnant woman cannot even touch the capsule.
Accutane can cure acne, but at what price? Taking this product can result in crying spells, rectal bleeding, bone fractures, psychosis, hepititis, and even herpes. Of course, then you can take Valtrex. It is a vicious cycle.

I just saw a Hillary Clinton ad that claimed she has 35 years of experience. Doing what? Not sleeping with Bill?

I just bought a new DVD player as mine finally gave up. Since it was one of the original units manufactured, it has served its time. They are cheap enough that repair is not necessary or economically feasible. As is the case for most electronics, they have become disposable. My new unit comes with a remote control that has over fifty buttons. I actually need two: play and stop. Most of the others are just designed to intimidate me.


I mentioned this to my son who has just installed a new big screen HD television and home theatre sound system. This requires four separate remote controls, pictured here. Holy crap!! I would have to sit in silence. I hate technology.


I attended the “final” Rolling Stones concert at Wembley Stadium in London in August of 1990. The only thing final about it was that it was the last time Bill Wyman would appear onstage with them. The opening acts were Living Colour and Guns N’ Roses, but nobody cared. We were all there to see the Stones. It was amazing to hear over 100,000 voices singing along with every song. The atmosphere was electric. I was fortunate enough to see the Stones twice at Wembley Stadium. The first time was in 1982. It was probably also billed as their “final” concert. This is a clip from that tour, though I could not find one at Wembley. For this 55 year old the greatest band ever was the Beatles, but I never got to see them live. This, however, was a defining point in my life. Absolute magic.

I keep my digital camera in my car pretty much all the time. In the event that a historical event, such as the landing of a UFO in my general area, occurs, I will be ready. In the mean time, I take occasional photos of things that interest me, usually due to their absurdity. I hope you are entertained by them as much as I am.

Do you really think that a Pawn Shop is your best choice to prepare your taxes?

Found at a popular Myrtle Beach shopping area. Look closely at the Ship's Stores.

So can I get a reservation or not?


This is not a very good shot but I had to be a little careful getting this photo as taking a camera into a public restroom could put me in Larry Craig type trouble. But I just had to capture this. It is an official sign that is in every public restroom in South Carolina, published by the Department of Health & Environmental Control. It pretty much illustrates the intelligence of our state government. Don't even have spellcheck.

I spotted this beauty at a truckstop that serves as a Greyhound Bus Depot. It really requires no caption but I am certain that the author probably once held a position in the South Carolina State Government.

Lots of funny things to say here but I will let you just enjoy the possibilities.

I cannot take credit for this photo but had to include it. This is the official logo for the NIT Basketball Championship t-shirts that were designed, approved, and worn by University of West Virginia faculty and student body. Not exactly an Ivy League institution, now is it?
And last but not least:
The band, Five for Fighting, is generously donating $0.49 to Autism Speaks each time this video is viewed. The funding goes toward research studies to help find a cure. When you have a moment, please visit the link below to watch the video and pass it along. They are aiming for 10,000 hits, but hopefully we can help them to surpass this goal. I checked this with snopes and it is absolutely true.

http://www.whatkindofworlddoyouwant.com/videos/view/id/408214

Your smile counts. The more smiles you share, the more we donate. Join in!

Don't give me this much latitude again.

25 comments:

Go Figure said...

Have you had you 'lead' level checked lately? Just a friendly suggestion...it might be a good time.

Shari said...

I'm glad you enjoyed the opportunity to write about a variety of topics, all in one post. I have had the same feelings about the Valtrex commercial. Who would actually say those words to a camera, acting like it was no big deal? It seems like you have been waiting to talk about these topics for awhile.

Chris said...

I think you should have "freedom or lack of direction" every week. This was priceless. You have a wonderful, tongue firmly planted in cheek, view of life, I love it.

paisley said...

i get a kick out of the drug side effects thing myself... people are just so easily led,, they like being oblivious,, and then they sue ya....

myrtle beached whale said...

I am sure that I have lost all my genital herpes, West Virginia pawn shop owners and Hillary readers. oh well.

Go Figure:
Not only did I live with lead for 17 years I then spent several years working around nuclear material. You do the math.

Lilibeth said...

I've thought the same about the commercials many times. Misprints are hilarious...unless you make them. We once received 500 school calendars, bound nicely in blue covers, with the title misspelled. We would have taken issue with the printer except that our superintendent's family owned the printing company and they had made the calendars as a gift to us. We went ahead and sent them home with the students, but the next year we made our own, cheap, correctly spelled edition.

Anonymous said...

You have written on a plethora of topics, which do I comment on first. Let's see, I tried Alli once. I will never use it again. I love your more realistic version of the Valtrex commercial, and I think the same things when I see them. There is no way I would sit beside my partner and smile, as he tells me he has genital herpes. And now I realize you must have ADD, how you can go from Valtrex to the Stones with grace is amazing to me.

rebecca said...

a) yes, i agree those drug commercials are pretty scary; b) i'm with you on the remotes; and, c) LOVE the Rolling Stones! To this day, Angie remains my favorite song -- I was in 7th grade and being a typical teenager, playing hooky and getting into trouble!

myrtle beached whale said...

Anon:

The bad thing is that in my fragmented mind that was a natural progression. Of course it is hard to look at Keith Richards without drugs coming to mind. and it is not a big stretch to think Herpes.

Lilibeth: I make lots of errors when I write, but if I were writing as an occupation, I would probably proofread before making 20,000 copies.

Lucy said...

All I can say after that Entertaining rant is
hahahahahaha! I needed that today! thanks :))

Devil Mood said...

Jesus, can I go to Myrtle Beach and correct all those typos with a red pen? Grrr, they make me really nervous and I'm not a native english speaker.

Lots of fun information there! I love the Beatles but haven't heard of Geico - am I normal? Should I take some of the pills you mentioned?

Inland Empire Girl said...

I won't switch to Geico because I am afraid I might have to talk to that silly caveman. Loved the taxes for less sign also. Funny post.

myrtle beached whale said...

I would rather get the caveman than the gecko with the British accent (even though geckos are not native to the UK).

gautami tripathy said...

I truly enjoy your ramblings. And this post is miscellaneous.

You know, once you commented on my post that I was deep and you shallow.

I do not think you are that.

Flic. said...

That was great, gave me a much needed late night laugh. You're sarcasm is wonderful! You should move to Australia, two reasons. 1. No Geico and 2. No drug commercials! Heaven.

myrtle beached whale said...

Flic:

There is a 3rd reason for moving to Australia. The most beautiful women in the world.

Gautami:

Trust me. I am as shallow as a Mississippi gene pool.

Frances said...

This amazing post had me laughing till I cried.
I feel exactly the same way about all those commercials.
Thank you for giving my afternoon a big life.

Cynthia E. Bagley said...

I had a good laugh ;-)

Cyn

myrtle beached whale said...

You are all laughing at me. What if this was an attempt at being serious? I would be crushed.

Redness said...

You smooth talkin' snappy dresser, move to Australia, beautiful women - Oh Yeah that's right you're salesman too - and a silver tongued devil by the sound of it ... LOL !!! Adored you post, as always!

Herb Urban said...

Hilarious stuff. I don't even know where to begin. I think Hillary has 35 years of experience forgiving Bill's genital herpes. That is my guess.

tumblewords said...

Laughing with you! Musta been tons of fun writing this list of absurds. Sure was tons of fun reading it - Thanks for a good haha.

forgetfulone said...

That was a heckuva miscellaneous post, and I enjoyed every bit of it!

Robin said...

A fabulous romp through the workings of your mind. Love it. Especially the signs. The Billary picture just scared me though.

anthonynorth said...

Loved your general ramblings. Some were hilarious. Unlike you, I DID see The Beatles live - well, 3 of them. Poor George was ill that night, so they were a trio.