Thursday, October 29, 2009

55 Flash Fiction Friday - Distraction - 10/29/09

This week's 55 Flash Fiction Friday offering uses the prompt "distraction" provided by Lena, a loyal reader. In fact, one of the only loyal readers that is not my daughter. I am doing something a little bit different this post. If you want to hear the piece read in the author's monotone voice, here it is.
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Distraction

He awoke in agony

Choked by the stench of expended gunpowder

His comrades lay motionless

He needed a distraction lest the pain would drive him mad

A pretty, barefoot, girl in a sundress

Her hair shining in the Carolina sun

Her smile beckoned him to her

When medics found him his lifeless face was smiling

10 comments:

Lena said...

wow!

Brian Miller said...

wow. intense 55. at least he died smiling...perhaps she will find him on the other side.

mine is up!

orionsbow said...

Dude. I'm speechless. How you come up with these things I don't know. Anything I write that I think is good tends to ramble more than is necessary. I edit time after time. Yet you seemingly sit down and bang out such intensity and depth using only a handful of words. It's a gift. Oh yeah, I think the sundress is a gift from God.

Hootin' Anni said...

Sad.....but WOW too. Very intense visual from your words. Wow...just wow.


Have a terrorific Halloween tomorrow---

My 55 is a two-parter this week...

Trick or Treats HERE

Alice Audrey said...

Intense. Hopefully not too true.

G-Man said...

Regardless of what you say, I think your writing is Top Notch!
This My Friend...Was one of your Top Two!!
Excellent 55 Rick!
You Rock The Entire Eastern Seaboard!
Have a Kick-Ass Week-End...G

myrtle beached whale said...

Alice: All too true.

G-Man: This seems to be a consensus. I have gotten some really good response over this one. Either my writing is improving or I have dumbed-down my readers.

Roger said...

Sad. But the smile said it all. A little comfort amid the atrocity.

Anonymous said...

Great one! Explains well how people cope with the things in life no one should even have to imagine. Think of a happy place. Excellent. Love you. Carly

Anonymous said...

In many cases the best medicine lies between our ears. I visit the ocean...in my mind...when things get the best of me.

Great imagery!!! Made me think of WWII. clo