Pills - 11/13/09

I got up this morning and took a handful of assorted medications and this came into my head. Don't ask me why. Oh yeah, the Vicodin I had for breakfast.

They got pills to make you happy
And pills to make you mellow
Pills to control your blood pressure
And some make you pee yellow

They got pills to make you horny
And pills to make you not
Pills to control that ugly rash
And that case of jungle rot

They got pills to make you skinny
Though none of those will work
Without diet and exercise
If you buy them you're a jerk

They got alternative medications
Supplements and Herbs for sure
And there isn't much that ails you
That chronic will not cure

They got pills to make kids behave
And not set your house on fire
And pills that cause a vacant stare
If that's what you desire

They got pills to quit smoking
And pills to slow your heart
Pills to make you evacuate
And some just make you fart

They got pills to make your date more fun
And pills to make you rave
Pills to make you hit home runs
And pills to make you brave

They got pills that make you comatose
And pills that make you laugh
Pills that you need several of
And some you cut in half

They got pills so you don’t get pregnant
And some that hope you do
And pills so your infected friend
Doesn’t spread herpes to you

They got pills to shrink your prostate
And pills to make you hard
Some pills come in a bottle
And some come on a card

They got pills to make you larger
Pills to make you small
And like Grace Slick once said
Some don’t do anything at all

They sell pills over the counter
And some are kept in back
The really good ones you only get
If your doctor is a quack

They got pills that make you sleep
And some keep you awake
Some of them cure heartburn
Or stop a tummy ache

Some you have to swallow
And some you have to chew
Some that you take orally
And some are taken……..eew

Some pills the FDA approves
And some of them they hate
Some pills get recalled
But usually too late

Some pills have side effects
Including pain and death
They can help your asthma
But it might be your last breath

They got pills to cure what ails you
Just because you think they will
Though there’s only sugar substitute
Inside that little pill

Some make you creative
To write verse or prose
Unfortunately for my readers
I don't have none of those