Love Poem - World's Largest Simile? 2/14/08

I didn't quite finish this in time for Valentine's Day. It got kind of carried away. I know some of it is corny (a lot of it) but it is what it is. No one will get it all, but I hope there is something for everyone. It is rough, so don't mind the typos or misspellings. If you would like to add verses, email them to me and I will add them. Maybe we can get into Guiness.

I want to say I love you like its never been said
I love you from your toes to the top of your head
I love you like socialites love diamonds and rubies
I love you like Hefner loves silicone boobies
I love you like Boston loves the Red Sox
I love you like geologists love mountains of rocks
I love you like Satan loves triple six
I love you like an addict loves his next fix
I love you like a hunter loves to kill
I love you like a beneficiary loves a will
I love you like Bogart loved Lauren Bacall
I love you like a Tar Heel loves basketball
I love you like a politician loves votes
I love you like a fisherman lives his boat
I love you like a Christian loves Jesus Christ
I love you like a southerner loves his tea iced
I love you like a drinker loves his Jim Beam
I love you like Maslow loved self-esteem
I love you like Richard Petty loves speed
I love you like a boy scout loves a good deed
I love you like a salesman loves a commission
I love you like Aamco loves a transmission
I love you like a bartender loves last call
I love you like a Valley Girl loves the mall
I love you like a singer loves to sing
I love you like a mother loves her offspring
I love you like Texans love oil
I love you like a fencer loves a foil
I love you like a farmer loves rain
I love you like a masochist loves pain
I love you like a golfer loves under par
I love you like Paparazzi loves movie stars
I love you like an accountant loves income tax
I love you like Joe Friday loved facts
I love you like rednecks love number 3
I love you like a patriot loves his country
I love you like Eliza Doolittle loved Henry Higgins
I love you like Al Bundy loves Bigguns
I love you like a convict loves his release
I love you like a warrior loves peace
I love you like Vanna White loves letters
I love you like a credit bureau loves debtors
I love you like Captain Kirk loves warp speed
I love you like Roy loves Siegfried
I love you like Newton loved gravity
I love you like a dentist loves a cavity
I love you like Minnesota loves spring
I love you like gangsters love bling
I love you like we all love puppies
I love you like Mercedes are loved by yuppies
I love you like Bill Clinton loves pages
I love you like employers love minimum wage
I love you like assassins love assault rifles
I love you like the British love trifle
I love you like monsters love nightfall
I love you like haters love nothing at all
I love you like an actor loves applause
I love you like children love Santa Claus
I love you like June Carter loved Johnny Cash
I love you like a pothead loves his stash
I love you like a tribe loves a chief
I love you like surfers love a coral reef
I love you like a pigeon loves to come home
I love you like photographers love Kodocrome
I love you like CSI loves DNA
I love you like a worker loves payday
I love you like a Senator loves a kickback
I love you like a general loves to attack
I love you like Nike loves tennis shoes
I love you like BB King loves the blues
I love you like a geek loves video games
I love you like a lawyer loves shifting the blame
I love you like Pfizer loves erectile dysfunction
I love you like a mechanic loves a malfunction
I love you like a Mexican loves crossing the border
I love you like policemen love law and order
I love you like a surgeon loves an incision
I love you like a optometrist loves faulty vision
I love you like mathematicians love pi
I love you like astronomers love the sky
I love you like the deaf love to read
I love you like critters love feed
I love you like Jessie Jackson loves controversy
I love you like God loves to show mercy
I love you like conspiracy theorists love UFOs
I love you like a coups loves an overthrow
I love you like a burglar loves open doors
I love you like Charlie Sheen loves whores
I love you like Catholics love the pope
I love you like Cheech and Chong loved smoking dope
I love you like a sailor loves shore leave
I love you like Ward loved the Beeve
I love you like grandmas love little babies
I love you like dermatologists love scabies
I love you like corporations love to outsource
I love you like dictators love brutal force
I love you like mailmen love January
I love you like Stephen King loves scary
I love you like New Orleans would love elevation
I love you like celebrities love adoration
I love you like a gambler loves a straight flush
I love you like a model loves an airbrush
I love you like old men love soft toilet paper
I love you like a terrorist loves a skyscraper
I love you like dreamers love idle time
I love you like poets love rhymes
I love you like a musician loves being in tune
I love you like brides love June
I love you like Simon loves to critique
I love you like George Bush loves to misspeak
I love you like Gollum loves rings
I love you like Shakespeare loved kings
I love you like a banker loves piles of cash
I love you like Springer loves white trash
I love you like Milton Bradley loves games
I love you like a pyromaniac loves flames
I love you like a comedian loves smiles
I love you like Steve Irwin loved crocodiles
I love you like a therapist loves paranoids
I love you like a bodybuilder loves Roids
I love you like a mohel loves circumcision
I love you like Asians love long division
I love you like New England loves quaint
I love you like artists love paint
I love you like the Weather Channel loves hurricanes
I love you like critics love Citizen Kane
I love you like skinheads love Idaho
I love you like Aspen loves snow
I love you like magicians love an illusion
I love you like a hemophiliac loves a transfusion
I love you like coeds love spring break
I love you like a fat man loves steak
I love you like Fonzie loves to be cool
I love you like tricksters love April Fools
I love you like Jewish people love lox
I love you like geologists love mountains of rocks
I love you like actresses love their cosmetics
I love you like amputees love their prosthetics
I love you like Hedonists love pleasure
I love you like pirates love buried treasure
I love you like the Hazards loved General Lee
I love you like I hope you love me