Sunday, March 2, 2008

Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder - 3/2/08

Unfortunately, I did not write this piece, but I wanted to share it as it absolutely describes my attention span. I am so glad they have a name for it.

Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. -
Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.
This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden.

As I turn on the hose in the driveway,
I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.

As I start toward the garage,
I notice mail on the porch table that
I brought up from the mail box earlier.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys on the table,
Put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table,
And notice that the can is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back
On the table and take out the garbage first.

But then I think,
Since I'm going to be near the letter-box
When I take out the garbage anyway,
I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my cheque book off the table,
And see that there is only one cheque left.

My extra cheques are in my desk in the study,
So I go inside the house to my desk where
I find the can of Coke I'd been drinking.

I'm going to look for my cheques,
But first I need to push the Coke aside
So that I don't accidentally knock it over.

The Coke is getting warm,
And I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke,
A vase of flowers on the counter
Catches my eye--they need water.

I put the Coke on the counter and
Discover my reading glasses that
I've been searching for all morning.

I decide I better put them back on my desk,
But first I'm going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter,
Fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote.
Someone left it on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV,
I'll be looking for the remote,
But I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table,
So I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs,
But first I'll water the flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers,
But quite a bit of it spills on the floor.

So, I set the remote back on the table,
Get some towels and wipe up the spill.

Then, I head down the hall trying to
Remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:

The car isn't washed

The bills aren't paid

There is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter

The flowers don't have enough water,

There is still only one cheque in my cheque book,

I can't find the remote,

I can't find my glasses,

And I don't remember what I did with the car keys.

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,
I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day,
And I'm really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem,
And I'll try to get some help for it,
But first I'll check my e-mail....

Do me a favour.
Forward this message to everyone you know,
Because I don't remember who on earth I've sent it to.

Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!


keith hillman said...

Great! Now what was that you said?

Lucy said...

haha This Is great! I am not alone after all!

Jane Poe (aka Deborah) said...

Sadly, I'm well on my way! Fun - thanks for sharing. Peace, JP/deb

Pinehurst in my Dreams said...

I've been like that all my life - until recently. Now I don't care if anything gets done.

Cedar Street Kid said...

Hey-quit writing about me!

rebecca said...

Would you believe me if I tell you that I actually work with this person who wrote it? Or, his/her twin sister anyway....this is her normal day: she's typing on the computer and the phone rings, she thens answers it and proceeds to have a 20 minute conversation with everyone who calls, then she hangs up the phone and starts to look in her tickler file (the files that she has categorized by each day and tells her what to do), she takes out one thing to do (meanwhile whatever she was doing on the computer is now out of her mind), she goes to copy said paper, the phone rings, she picks it up -- another 20 minutes -- leaves the paper in the printer, begins to speak with a colleague, then goes to the desk to begin something else, now we have whatever she started on the computer on hold and her paper on the copier forgotten, then she begins to do something else, phone get the drift. it's both challenging and entertaining working with her but she is such a good person, i wouldn't trade her for anybody else. and I will use an expression she uses often, "there but for the grace of God, go I!"

Footpad said...

Ain't it the truth.

I blame my AAADD on being a space cadet. ;-)

-- f

Anonymous said...

I'm so there, I really am. But you've made my day...I thought it was only me :)

You've been tagged...come over to my place and see!